And place the tray before a mystical god and leave it there for a couple of minutes. And then take it back and place it in the middle of the house, refusing to even look at it so that the gods can be sure of our dedication.
It would be interesting to bend and shape the rules of religion. Not do away with them but just twist a few things here and trip a few things there. Having agarbattis which had to be thrown like darts at the idol, or having to kneel with the bum facing towards the statue, or having to pray while skipping instead of kneeling down.
Or, a a meta level, slightly change the rules of the game. Have gods who were paranoid and frequently came down into human beings for a vacation. Have gods who were randomly nominated as celestial beings. Have stoner gods for sure.
Had a most magical bus ride the other day. It was late and I had lots of time and so I took the bus from regal to dadar and it was superb. The bus went under the flyover and I had my headphones on and the bus was a Ltd one so it would whizz past most of the bus stops. And the music would sway in my head and I would stare out of the window and the wind would grin and run around me. People were walking on the streets, standing outside bars, mopping up the last bits of eshtew with their rotis, sharing a smoke or a few words, waving to their friends and smiling and laughing or just wearily making their way back home.
It was beautiful. There must be very few cities which can be so different by night.
So apparently there was a tweeter who went by the handle, GhettoHikes. Got a lot of hate mail for that. I thought it was just effin hilarious.
Oh god, I don’t know why I do the things I do. So I went for this condolence thingie for this person who had died. And there was a minute of silence. And so I was standing and I thought the minute had gotten over and the lady on the stage was also beginning to move so I sat down. And then she says “You may all please sit down” and so I hurriedly jump and then pretend that I am also sitting down with the rest of the populace. And of course its them frikkin plastic chairs so there is a whole lot of grating noise happening in between my standing-sitting-jumping up-slowly sitting bit.
Also, at the same event, I am fully being sharp and conversational and this beautiful lady asks me whether I have eaten enough and I cleverly nod no, racking my head for some sort of flirty comment. And then she says (what a frikkin perfect set up it was), she says “Oh, you haven’t HAD enough?” (dude, I watch a lotta porn ok, so in my head that is a like a perfect set up line)
And I go…I go “No, I eat like this” and I proceed to mock-shovel loads of food into my mouth. With both hands.
And, I swear, her face went like “wuh da faaaaaak?”. And I was like “Oh yeah, that’s me turnin the charm ON sweet cakes”.
FML twice over.
Am taking Brutus out for a long ride.