Where one enters Kro’s head, a cushion filled room with unlit candles, shitty poster art and a highly suspicious sloth smoking a joint in one corner

Damn. A sloth who is suspicious AND high.

Fuckshit.

So the other day, after much persuasion and coaxing (read no one giving a fuck), I went and attended a social type event. Like one where you have to meet new people and sit on sofas and chat and stuff like that. And the interesting part was that this time I consciously  looked into my head to get an idea of what the hell happens when I am placed in such situations.

So what I did was, I made a mental note of my thoughts and then viewed them with full third person perspective and all that.

Excerpts:

“No. Don’t look at her boobies. No. Arrey. No baba. Look up, look up!! Quick”

“Aye, where you zoning out to man? He is looking at you and talking. Must be saying something to you. Quick, nod like you are interested. Shit. I think he saw me yawn.”

“Shit. Did she see you scratching yourself? Shit, this don’t look too good. But it IS warm in here. And this goddam new washing powder. I wonder what the Romans used to do. Bet their togas were never actually white. Dude, FOCUS. focus.”

“Oooh cheese fingers. Ooooooh. Hey! Bastard, where you going. Get that plate over here you dumb fucker. What, do I look like I am fucking dieting?”

“Oooo cheese fingers”

Lesson of the day : Avoid cheese fingers.

………….

Sometimes I wish there was a soft way to learn things. A gentle curve of understanding and enlightenment. I don’t think you can find those hills anymore.

Hills. Mountains hah!

In the seventh standard, for geography class, we we were supposed to memorise the names of mountain ranges and the like. And the geography teacher would draw them out in maps and circulate it in the class.

And one day, one boy was absent on the day the maps were circulated.

So the next day, in geography class, that boy got up, and told the teacher, “Ma’am I want to xerox your mountains.”

And then that boy wondered why some dirty dirty minded people burst out laughing.

Kids – the original crack.

 

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