Because my eyes got burnt


Spread the joy.

After the phenomenal success of 50 shades, I have decided to pen my own x-rated book. It is going to be this super mix of dark humor and titillation. Like “rubbing” and “juice” and “grabbed” are going to make completely random appearances in sentences.

I dont think it is too difficult to write bad erotica. “And when she swirled her tongue, I knew what I had to do” and “As she nibbled on the cherries…” My only fear is that I will start introducing so many food allegories that it will take food porn to whole other level.

I think bad erotica is easy. What is difficult is to go pure innuendo. Like pure.

For instance, “It had hardened by the time she was done. Hard and slightly curved. Just the way she liked it.”

Who knows what the fuck that is about.


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