Aye, you want to know aah?

Really? Say na. Aye say naaa? Aye. Tell naaaaaaaaa.

Aye c’mon naaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

….

I got belted the other day. Full proper black belt triple stripe style. Made a joke about “women only belongs to kitchen” and it was not taken very well. Full dishoom dishoom. Actually I did not even make the joke, someone else reminded the Judo Master about a comment I had made some 20 years ago and then I started laughing cause I still found it funny and then Judo Master was like “kheeeeya”. Totally went all Bruce Lee on me and I was like “Wuh?”and then I was like “ouch, ouch. Aiyyooo that hurts yaaaa”.

………..

So there is this new-ish place called Ta’aam off Queens Road and they have this dish called the Laham Mandi and it has to be one of the finest things I have ever had. This huge, devilish plate of flavoured rice with a huge slab of soft (oh so soft) mutton simmering over it. You know how they say peels of the bone? Well this mutton just slides off, so lazily and with so little effort.

And they serve it with this clear mutton broth which is just delicious and then you sprinkle some broth over the rice and dig your hands into the soft, warm rice and then you drop those little, juicy soft pieces of meet onto the rice and scoop it all up and put it in your mouth and your tongue just tells your brain “waaohhhhhh”.

Sexy.

I have decided I am going to change the look and feel of this blog. I am going to give it more direction, purpose and shape. Like what they do with cricket balls and rubbing it on the thighs.

I wonder if the first chap who did that was actually trying to scratch his balls but was too polite to do it openly. And so he was trying to do the scratchy scratchy with the seam and then someone say him and said “Hey you, what the eff ya” and the dude was like “Oh just shining it and giving it direction and shape”.

I think a lot of geniuses were just misunderstood morons.

Its statements like those which give me hope.

…………

Oh yeah so like I was saying, I am going to do some food reviews and put up one review a week. I think I will put it up on Friday. Oh Good lord. Am I making a schedule? Am I laying down a concrete path upon which my words will have to march upon? All hot concrete in the summer sun and yet the words will be forced to lumber on.

Words.

Like slaves carrying blocks of the pyramids in the merciless Egyptian sun. Like ants. Scurrying here and there with just a faint idea of the bigger picture. Walking towards the giant Page and then going “splotch” as they merge onto the page.

Words.

……………..

I have been getting the most magnificent sleep over the last two days. I measure how magnificent it is by the volume of drool over my face when I wake up. Cause someone told me that if you drool in your sleep that means you have had a real deep sleep.

Today there were at least a couple of liters of dried saliva all over my face. I swear.

Magnificent.

………..

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