This idea of God being a bartender stayed in my head for quite a while the other day. Actually it was more of people being cock[tails] and what ingredients would go into what person and how I would describe the people I know.
There would be shooters: short, aggro people with all the subtlety of an angry rock. And then there would be the oldies like Old Fashioned, all orthodox and suit wearing.
And then I began to wonder what a party of alcohol would look like. If you invited all the daaru in the world.
There would be the terribly sweet and creamy liqueurs in their own corner, speaking in deep, dark whispers and getting drunk real slowly.
And then there would be the aristocratic wines and champagnes, dressed in peacock feathers and caviar. With noses held up so high you could count the hair in their nostrils.
I wonder where the foreign, exotic stuff would go. Our desi tharra would land up for sure, reeking of the good stuff and all ready to yell “mundu mundu mundu” for no reason at all. Tequilla would try and make it but die before reaching the venue, car accident. That Greek saunf like thing would make it though, all calm and cool and slightly minty. Absinthe would arrive with a noose in his hand and “truth or dare” shining from his eyes.
Would there be any space for beer? Or would all the beer be holed up in the Gaming Room, playing on the PS3 and getting stupidly high at the same time.
I wonder if any one could come in between Gin and Tonic. Or would they arrive together? No that is too boring. In fact, perhaps Gin could arrive with Rum while Tonic would enter with Bourbon. And then their eyes would meet from across the room and both would know that they had found the greatest love of their lies.
I wonder what the alcohols talk about when they are put in the mixer. Do they emerge all dizzy and broken, “Oh where am I? Why is there an olive sticking outta my head?” types.
I need to learn how to cook. Right now.
“Ah like to moooove it moooove it Ah like to mooooove mooov it
Yuuuuuu like to ……MOOOOV IT?”
ta ta tana taa taana