Kya ungli daal ke chho-ke ka?

If you have not seen GoW-P-1, shame on you. Shame shame poppy shame, all the pervies know your name.

Saax. It was Saax. Saaaaaaax.

I think there were one too many sub-plots and characters but otherwise, what a movie. Can’t believe there is no fixed date for when the next one is coming in. I wonder if he will be hospitalised. You think its going to go all godfatherish? I mean there were already traces of Michael and all.

Let us see.

………..

There were two sites which wrapped around my brain today.

The first one was this.

And the image in my head was of sweaty and slightly flustered men and women, writhing in agony within the first five minutes of opening their office laptops. Of juice-covered computer screens (wuh, YOU came here ((oh dear)) voluntarily. You wanna wash your eyes, ((OH DEAR)) not my problem) and of people being all awkward as they swivel in their office chairs.

Really. Is that what we have come (oh fuck off) to? Virtual masturbation. Cyber sex with yourself?

The other one was this. It turns out that I was the duchess of some tiny kingdom. What the fuck man, what the fuck.

Well it does explain why I dont gel with commoners, the ordinary folk. Uggh. So dirty ya. You know someone told me that they dont even use moisturizers ya! Can you beeeeeleeeeve that? How can you live like that ya?

……………………..

I sometimes think that cows must be thinking the most awesomest shit on the planet. I mean have you ever seen them just stand there and chew. Just chew. Its like they are thinking about the most complex things on the world. So absent minded, they don’t even realise when they shit. Just thinking and gnawing and thinking and gnawing.

I wonder if animals have their own doctors and dentists. I think hedgehogs would make for good nurses. And owls for good shrinks. They just stare at you as if they are really paying attention to whatever you are saying.

….

Spider man is gonna be released this weekend. And I still have not gotten around to seeing Brave. Goddamit man. Why are weekends only two days long? Why? Why God of Calendars, why?

Hmmm, that would be kinda cool. Being the Gods of Calendars. “I hereby declare all holidays should be shown in blue and all non-holidays in red.” It would confuse the fuck out of people, thats for sure.

……………

Ok, I have decided. I am going to make pasta. Every, single thing is going to be handmade. Except the pasta (I think I have six-month old penne just waiting to be boiled). I like how eager things like uncooked pasta seem. Don’t they look like they desperately want to be thrown into a pot and cooked in boiling water? As if that is what they have been sent to this planet for. Well, they have.

So I am going to make this utterly delicious sauce and it is going to have chunks of tomatoes and some garlic and sugar and salt and a hint of pepper and it is going to be thick and yummy and then I am going to gently pour it over some delicate penne and I am going to kick back a nice, chilled out bottle of veeno and get some of my chuddy buds to try it out and we are going to laugh and chat and be all awesome about it.

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One Response to Kya ungli daal ke chho-ke ka?

  1. All this cow talk reminds me of this Vicco Vajradanti ad they show at multiplexes. This tour guide is showing some foreigners around an ‘Indian Village’ and he points to a cow and says, ‘This is guy’ and the firangs look all confused and then he sniggers like an idiot and says, ‘I mean cow’. Like the firangs don’t have cows in their countries.

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