Where I struggle to deal with incompetent assholes and wonder whether I should get some normal friends

But first.

The space bar is such a cruel key, don’t you think. Always creating these spaces in between the characters and never really letting them get together and live in that little jhopdi by the railway tracks.

Look I just sep arat ed a word into three! Like an incompetent magician with a very competent saw!

Or perhaps it is the moral police of our times, “Ok that’s it. No holding hands. Break it up. Break it up.”

I wonder if I could have my very own space bar. Create these spaces between people and things. I don’t know.

……………………

I cannot deal with incompetence. I simply cannot. Should I be calm and patient and remember that everyone can make a mistake or should I just tear the incompetent dumfuk apart and hope that what don’t kill him only make him stronger?

I don’t know.

……………………………………

M and M’s potential boyfriend and me went for a movie the other day. M and me have been Chuds & Buds for a while now which always surprises me since our tastes don’t really match up in any thing.

Anyway M orders this popcorn mix of cheese and caramel. Potential BF had (apparently) read somewhere that the way to a woman’s undies is through derision: women love to be put down (as opposed to going down).

“How can you eat that shit”, he asks her, “..its so disgusting!” he snorts. “Oh its nice” she replies, handing a couple of kernels to him. “Its sweet and cheesy…”, she explains munching so loudly that most of the dialogues escape my ears, “….you know….. like pussy.”

Potential BF’s expression……priceless.

.

Fox and me ambled into Indigo Deli the other night. And as we sat down on the comfortable chairs and placed our elbows on the polished table, Fox let out one of the most cunning farts I have ever heard in my life. This one was loud enough to be audible to me but not so loud that the entire restaurant would be put on high alert.

And as the nice, polite waiter asks us what we want, Fox looks at the menu card and then looks at ceiling so that he can decide what he wants and then looks at the waiter like he is about to place his order and then mumbles in a pitch which is barely audible, “But I just farted”

I choke on the water.

I am wondering if I should hang out with normal people for a while though I also wonder whether I can survive something like that.

I don’t know.

…………………….

This super delightful couple invited me to their new home the other day. It was so cute and so “newly married” and domestic yet with an aura of freshness and hope. It was nice sitting on the floor of their home, watching the new “Sherlock” serial as She and He took turns in bringing freshly made stuff from the kitchen.

It was nice raising the glass to a new beginning and a new path.

Cheers.

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2 Responses to Where I struggle to deal with incompetent assholes and wonder whether I should get some normal friends

  1. Oh. My. God. Your friend M did not say that. Tell me she didn’t! She is so awesome! I’d very much like to hang out with her…
    Oh, and I like my (.) key better than the space bar. I like putting full stops after every word. It. Is. Fun. No word gets to move. Its like placing each of them under arrest. Ha!

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