Who wants to be a rapstar?

First, think of a sound. Any, random sound. Say a door slamming or a scooter starting. Preferably something you can ape quite easily.

Second, add that noise to the following sentence:

“Baby shake your booty like <sound> <sound>”

Then come up with another sound (Yes, I know its hard work but nothing comes easily. Except teenagers perhaps)

Insert the second sound after the following line:

“Shorty got an ass like <sound2> <sound2> <sound2>”

So, the song should read like this:

“Baby shake your booty like <sound> <sound>”

“Shorty got an ass like <sound2> <sound2> <sound2>”

Repeat. In loop. Somewhere in the middle you can drop words like “ride”, “hey”, “oh”, “put eet upp” etc etc.


Ok. So the song is ready. Now for the tough part: the video.

Given that you are still a struggling artist, you probably will not have enough money to rent out a maserati for the shoot. Its okay, you don’t have to.

Just get a couple of your friends. Make them wear dark glasses. And bandanas if you have any. Borrow a camcorder.

Set it up and then start.

Stare into the camcorder and sing the song. Your friends in the background must continuously shake their head in agreement.  Every once in a while, they can walk into the foreground and mouth a line or two along with you. Then go back to the head shaking in the background. Remember you must have the intense face on. The “that fart has been stuck in between my ass cheeks for a LOOONG time man!” look.



Go to youtube. You know, that tv on the intaarnet?


Wait for the first million hits.

Boom. Bitch you famous. Start preparing the grammy speech. Remember to thank the Intaarnet. And God.

You’re welcome.

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5 Responses to Who wants to be a rapstar?

  1. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    U din’t write one ‘ha’ and ctrl c and ctrl v it
    I typed out the whole thing myself

    brilliant stuff
    keep it rolling or whatever that means

  2. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I din’t write one ‘ha’ and ctrl c and ctrl v it
    I typed out the whole thing myself

    brilliant stuff
    keep it rolling or whatever that means

    • kroswami says:

      @Ape-man: Thenkooo. I appreciate the effort (not ‘ctrl c and ctrl v’-ing it)
      also, keep it rolling could mean a lot of things ranging from the herb-related to a fat aunty yelling at the driver when the car has stalled at a traffic signal.

  3. J says:

    Can I also loop some police sirens in the background of the song? Also, don’t I need lots and lots of gold for the video? One final thought – given that this is an Indian rap video, a rapping sardar would probably be appropriate. Do let me know your thoughts.

    • kroswami says:

      hmmm….im more of replacing the rapping sardar with a mumbling mallu in a mundu.
      south is the new black, so get ready to shiizle the dizzle outta yo sambar powda fool!

      also, yes. There must be lots and lots of gold.

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