Where my thoughts get so annoying I have to push them out

So here it goes.

Would you buy a book titled “Trust Nothing”? And would you still buy it if it is placed in the “90% discount” section? And if you did decide to buy it, would you be surprised if there was no discount?

Something got me thinking about catseyes and reflectors and I was thinking that if someone falls on the road and gets a catseye on his head then it will kind of look like a “bindi”. And then that got me thinking of female Terminators and then Indian Terminators and why the hell has no one Indian director has been “inspired” by the Terminator series.

And then that got me thinking about who would make the ideal Terminator and it could be Salman Khan but, personally, I would much rather go for Anil Kapoor. Back in the days when you could have mistaken him for a bear.

I don’t particularly like hairy chested people. Especially if they are female.

Have been compulsively watching back-t0-back episodes of “The Office”. The US version. Funny. Funnay. Funnnnnnnaaay! Except I really wish Jim had more than three expressions during the entire season. Ooooh and that Rashida Jones chick is haawt!

Yup. Rashida Jones. You should google her. Definitely the flavour of the month for me. Replaces Anushka after a long, long time (the FoTm is not necessarily changed every month)

Speaking of which, I went for an office opening day pooja the other day. Friend of mine has just shifted jobs to a spanking new firm. It was definitely interesting to observe, especially since I was suffering from an OD of The Office. So, in my head, I was imagining who Pam would be and who would be Dwight and who would be what etc etc.

The funniest part of the entire pooja was the inability of my friend and his colleague to figure out which remote control worked for which air conditioner. So they would walk all over the place, pointing their magic sticks (you are disgusting. really) at the machines.

Remote control. Very evil-sounding duo of words.

Duo of words.

Duo.

I do not like the word “duo”. It sounds like a noise which someone would make if they were choking on their own spit. Or trying to gargle it.

……………..

I am about to recount an anecdote which may or may not be true:

So they are talking about cooking and my friend Drona points out me and says “Yup, Kro and Karn. They are the best……biryani….mutton….chole. No one can beat them.” And since I have not really been paying attention to what they are talking about, I presume Drona was marketing my cooking “skills” to portray me in a positive light. So I nod my head modestly and say something like “Oh ya….can do it in my sleep”.

Turns out that they were discussing farting powers.

If this was true, which it may or may not be, I would have called Drona a bastard.

…………….

Something in the papers made me wonder what would happen if we elected parliamentarians on the basis of their looks. Kind of like a Model Hunt but for members of the lok sabha. You know, based on their “physical” assets, the kind which they would be proud in declaring.

It may not be such a bad thing. I can totally imagine a pageant for this sort of thing. “Hailing from Paschim Banga, Mr. Chakrovorty is 5.2 ft tall and counts photography and rabindrasangeet as his hobbies”

And then the judges would ask them questions…but then since its a democracy maybe you could e-mail your questions and a machine would randomly pick one of them.

………………………….

Poschim Bango….what the fuck were they smoking???

and could I have some of that please?

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3 Responses to Where my thoughts get so annoying I have to push them out

  1. Hi Office liking fraand, you are my new favourite person.

  2. anonymous says:

    Office is funny 🙂 You can watch Parks and Recreation too. It has Rashida Jones!

    • kroswami says:

      @sharonstoned: hah! If I got a million bucks for every time some said that, I would be a millionaire.

      @annonnee: Cool. Shall download it once im done with season 7

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