Where lightening strikes twice, actually thrice but I was mid-sneeze the third time so I could not see it

I think my IQ jumps a billion times whenever I take a shit.

Its true. Some of my most brilliant (in a lifetime of brilliant moments) occur when I am sitting on the throne. There is something rather mysterious about it.

Also, people. For the love of heyzoos, will you LET ME WHINE??? I mean what the hell is wrong with you???

I feel sorry for non-whiners. They just dont get it. In the middle of a rant, the LAST thing one expects/wants to hear is a rational solution to the problem. Really.

Sample:

Kro: “Dude my bloody bai. Every bloody day, she makes aloo.”

Non-whiner: “Oh ya?”

Kro: “Yaa dude. Its like aloo bengan and aloo fry and aloo capsicum. Fuck. Its like living in hostel all over again!!. FUCK”

NW: “Hmmm…..who does the vegetable shopping?”

Kro: “Errmm….me. Why?”

NW: “So just dont buy aloo”

Motherfucker.

Seriously. I don’t want your fuckin brilliant fucking, logical fucking answer you fucking retard.

Goddamit. People are just so retarded sometimes that I think they do it on purpose. That is the only possible explanation. I swear.

Oooooo Im going to see Rio!!!! so excited. I even bought the happy meal so that I could get one ’em toys.

Rush rush rush.

Oh and I the most deliciously crisp parotas with mutton fry down at tamil nadu bhavan. Oh my good lord man. I mean those things were just brilliant. Crisp to feel and when you tear a piece away there is a slight crrrrk sound and then you dip it in this semi-dry mutton gravy and pick a piece of juicy, spicy mutton and pop it in your mouth and then your teeth chew and bite into flesh.

Oh my good lord. I died!

rush rush rush

tata.

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3 Responses to Where lightening strikes twice, actually thrice but I was mid-sneeze the third time so I could not see it

  1. a traveller says:

    “In the middle of a rant, the LAST thing one expects/wants to hear is a rational solution to the problem.”

    EXACTLY.

  2. what with all the *involved* food descriptions, mental picture was, you’d be super controlling about your food. strictly pinch of salt, suspicion of masala, etc.

    and you let your bai cook for you. verry interesting.

    • kroswami says:

      travail-ler: yup yup

      @RTi: don’t tell anyone this but….i ….can’t……..cook. To save my life. I make the best maggi in town but thats about it really.

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