Where we take a deep breath and calm our frayed nerves and then plunge off the smelly bridge towards the river below

I have done a bungee jump just once. For someone who professes to be a highly cynical piece of turd, I found it remarkably difficult to jump off the ledge. I think I am a wanna-be suicidal type person. Good lord! That’s even sadder than being suicidal.

Fuckshit.

Ooooo I was thinking of something so bloody hilarious in the morning. And now I have forgotten it. Not cool. Not cool at all.

I dont generally like people who stretch out words while speaking them. It can get mighty annoying. Especially if they are ordering before you. So I am forced to sit there, on the slightly uncomfortable chair while Ms. Saucy pants decides whether she wants to have a “umm cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese saaaandwhichhhhhhh or should I like go for a ceeeeeee-zerrrrr salad?”.

Indecisiveness is fine and all that but mothafucka let me order first then!.

If nuclear weapons were to become really small, I think we would have a lot of wars. Especially in restaurants. Like a lot of wars were (apparently) fought for love and ideals but no one really fought for food. I mean perhaps they fought coz of droughts and shit but not specifically food.

Anyway, like I was saying. It might not be that improbable that the next nuclear war would happen at a McDees. Coz some retard could not decide whether he wants to super size the fries (which I swear are the best (and only good?) thing about McD. Oh god now even my abbreviations are becoming dilli-fied!!! naheeeeee)

Right.

Like a porcupine. Like a couple of porcupines actually. Boinking each other. Real carefully. Lol. I dont think porcupines would  have drunk-sex. Too risky. Or perhaps they would do it all the time, coz of the dangers involved and all that.

Drunk porcupines, shaking da booty in some remote disco. With strobe lights. And a lava lamp in the corner.

Porcupines.

Fuck.

Some animals were made so that you could laugh at them. I am telling you. Its true. Porcupines, then langurs……then sloths.

I swear, I saw a sloth swimming on tv once. Funniest bloody thing I have ever seen. And it wasn’t even like I was stoned or something. Even when they are swimming they look lazy, like “oh fuck where am i…oh im in water…ok…will try and keep my head afloat…dont expect me to get anywhere in particular though…”

Swimming sloths. Khahahahaahahahahahaha

That is all for now.

 

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4 Responses to Where we take a deep breath and calm our frayed nerves and then plunge off the smelly bridge towards the river below

  1. ‘swimming sloths’ would be a great name for a band

  2. Rahul says:

    You have ads on your blog now?

  3. Jay says:

    “Wannabe suicidal type”, eh? Hmm.

    • kroswami says:

      @rTi: true. they could play slow jazz or slow rock or slow……

      @Saha: dude, no one asked me about it! i dont even get paid for it!

      @Jay-z: hmmmm

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