Where I wish I had a beer for every time I felt like killing someone

I would be so beer-buzzed all the time.

Like really!

And then we was discussing what would happen if we indian-ised folk tales. Oh wait. Oh you don’t know the background to this do you? In fact you are probably wondering who the “we” in that sentence is, are you not?

Too bad. Haw haaw (said the way that chap in simpsons says it)

Haww hawww.


So we was discussing it and the first thing that came to my mind is that it would be a lot more populated. Like instead of three little pigs, there would be five of them. Coz we desis fuck like nobody’s business. (I mean c’mon, we do!) And the five pigs would have to share one toilet and things would get real tense in the mornings when everyone had to rush to school.

And Little Red Riding Hood would never have to walk to her grandmom’s place coz the grandmom would be chillin with the joint family and there would be all sorts of unhealthy tensions between the grandmom and the bahu.

And then I was thinking that what if our bodies would also become like our nationalities. So I would have twenty little toes (can you imagine that? ugh or cool I cant quite decide) or something like that.

Oooo extra digits. I would like to have an extra hand. Like from the elbow onwards. Can you imagine the kind of karate chops I could give then?? Oh fuck sexy. I would be super awesome at basketball as well.

Hmmmm pancakes….hmmmm. Drenched in maple syrup….hmmmmmmm. Warm warm pancakes (with some chocolate chips perhaps?) and some nice, cold freshly squeezed juice and a comfortable chair with the bright sun and the blue sky and the naughty breeze as company.

A good breakfast is a thing of art. It really is.

Saw and heard a beautiful skyline race through the sublime streets of this city the other day. What a gorgeous sound. Exemplary. Like warm butter in your ears. Okay wait. Perhaps not like that.

Im wondering what I should do with my bike. Perhaps get these auxillary lamps attached. The only problem being I dont got no harley. But there is no harm in dreaming.

To dream is the most important thing in the world. And to be able to dream is what differentiates the living from those who prefer to continue wasting their life away.

True story.


This entry was posted in How would I know?!? and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Where I wish I had a beer for every time I felt like killing someone

  1. Sonal says:


  2. bhavna says:

    “a good breakfast is a thing of art.” it really is.
    i would like to quote these words of yours.

  3. anonymous says:

    Second that.

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