Where I reveal my innermost feelings and other stuff

I hate you.

And you. Oh and you toh for sure and perhaps you too.

And you & you & you & you.

And don’t even get me started on YOU, you fukin low life.

Or rather why don’t you and you get together and use your skulls as hammers?

What, are you going to start crying now? Boo FUCKING hooo. wipe your snot off you sick disgusting crap-pie. You made me want to puke on myself you pathetic fucking baby!

Oooooo and what the fuck are you looking at, you short piece of shit? Ya, you heard that right, fuck off.

Oh you better not be showing me some lip, my fukin princess…..go run to your daddy and give him a lapdance until he grants you your final wish.




My 3rd standard English teacher never said any of the above, but if she had…..what a fuckin awesome day that would have been!


Now that you have finished laughing your bum off, you may now proceed with the rest of the post.

So yesterday was Lohri, signalling the end of winter and I must say, these buggers have got it spot on. The night was cold but not the biting cold of last week.

So Lori is celebrated with a giant fire where people make popcorn and stuff. The streets of Bhogal were lined with these mini bon-fires, surrounded by families and some even having their own “disco tent” and/or live band. In fact there was one 2-member band just for a family of four.

I love those band-baja type things. Totally make me shake da booty. There is something so so desi about it, you know. And I love the fact that all bands across the country all know the same tune….its like that conspiracy of sellers on trains…especially the cold drink wallas…koooool dreeenk pepsi. And some of them would run their bottle openers against the bottle making that melodic noise. Oh you know what I am talking about.

That song with Cee Loo Green is doing the rounds in my head…..”the change in maa paak-ate wasn’t enough……fuck you” la la la la.

Oh and for some reason my mind drifted towards Twinkle Khanna (even though I have/had the hots for her sister, Rinkie) and I realised that it was pretty cruel of Dimple. I mean there is no way to make it cool….that name…..”Hey Twinks” or “Wassup Twinky” or “Hi Winks!” or something like that.

Worse, as she grew older and met even more people who tried to be hep, her name would be shortened to “T”….which would result in the friend, upon spotting Twinkle, yelling/screeching “Hiiii T!”.

And the waiters would look around and nod their heads in silent consternation since no one, and I do mean no one, has high tea at 10 in the morning.

Just not done.


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5 Responses to Where I reveal my innermost feelings and other stuff

  1. Priyanka says:


    Some kids in my complex danced to Sheila Ki Jawaani for Lori. Don’task :-\

  2. Alok says:

    I totally appreciate you not adding a full stop at the end of your post titles, unlike many nose-up-to-the-sky-there’s-dung-under-it female bloggers (some men too. I’m not misogynistic; just hate bad form and grammar.) It might look like a little thing, but it irritates the hell out of me.

    “And I love the fact that all bands across the country all know the same tune….its like that conspiracy of sellers on trains…especially the cold drink wallas”

    Brilliant observation. This is for the same reason there are so many “Chinese” stalls (now being replaced by Momo stalls) all over the country with similar tasting dishes.

  3. my class teacher (senior kg) once had a breakdown in the middle of the day and went home. i remember she burst into tears and said weepy, incoherent things for a while.

    may have had something to do with my not bringing my mister clean crayon set to craft class yet again, and how she had told me hundreds of times, and how long should she keep saying it, and when was i going to listen, and stop putting your crayons in your ear, samuel, and were none of us smart, and…

    • kroswami says:

      @Priyanka: good lord. really. good lord.

      @Mr. Alok: YOU hate bad form & grammar AND you STILL read this blog? sadomasochistic little fella you is!

      true thing about ’em momos…they really are becoming the same everywhere.

      @RTi: and another piece of the puzzle is discovered…..

  4. Jay says:

    Find me a momo stall in Bombay that has *that* taste – all I can find here is a handful of pricey restaurants with Rs. 250 a plate momos.

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