Where I exercise the simple power of suggestion and other things

Hello.

Take a quick look to your right. Ok now come back. Look to your left. Ok come back again.

Nod your head up and down. Slowly. Does it feel better now?

Try it again.

Bring your face to the screen. Nose touching the screen. Can you see it now?

Now hold onto the elastic part of your innerwear. Pull hard. And let it go.

THWAP.

——————————————–

My dream is to convince a billion people to do the exact same thing at the exact same point of time. The world resounding with the snap of elastic bras and VIP chaddis.

THWAP THWAP THWAP THWAP.

“I have a dream……”

———————————-

Status msgs I hope I will never see:

1. “Now I know what my shit tastes like”

2. “Ooooo its so warm inside”

3. “Chopping done, time to find the big garbage bags.”

4. “Horse poo does NOT taste like carrots”

5. “She is not a she after all….goddamit.”

——————————————————-

Also, thanks to urban dictionary I have learnt a new word: “Fap”.

Fuck. Hilarious.

If I could, I would covertly link all the “Words of the Day” which appears in newspapers with samples such as “fap” from urban dictionary. That would be fucking hilarious. Or even send my queries into that section where over-smart people show off their general knowledge and answer all these shit questions: “What is indochinesia?” Who the fuck cares?

Guerilla letters to the editor. Haw!

“I have a dream…..”

———————————————-

Oooo I finally persuaded myself to read a 100 years of solitude. Its a pretty nice book actually. I like the way the magical borders with the real and they all sort of mix and merge into this fantastic cauldron of words. A cooking pot of words and phrases which hold so much more than I thought possible.

—————————————————

We are in funny phase right now na? Still getting a cheap thrill over handing our business cards to each other. Still living in the hope that our dreams will materialise some day but with a sordid sense of cynicism seeping into our bones. We are young enough to laugh at the aunties and cringe when those little totters call us “uncle/aunty”.

I sometimes wish there was a universal right to slap little kids. Like just give them one tight slap across their chubby faces. Doesn’t matter whose kid it is, where the parents are or what the kid is doing. Just slap them. Phaaataaak!

I like kids who have been slapped a lot. They have this stoicism in accepting the slaps which is thoroughly refreshing. Its a bit like being in a boys school for your entire life. It just makes you numb to the raps on the knuckles and the hours of kneeling on the floor.

My cousin was one of those kids. Plus he had these real chubby cheeks which would make slapping him so bloody enjoyable.

When he was really small, my aunt (his mother’s sister) would slip a few ice cubes into his diaper. And he would crawl around, pointing at his bum and making these real puzzled faces at his mom. Fuck.

Hilarious.

—————————————

There are more than a few reasons why that drunk scene in Amar, Akbar, Anthony is such a cult scene. It is just frikkin brilliant. And then when he puts the band aid on the mirror…. one of the finest moments ever.

Another cult scene which entered into my head last night was when the Dude tells the real Lebowski “This will not stand man……This aggression will not stand man….”. And he was quoting Bush.

Oh what a movie. I would put it right up there with Chalti ka naam gaadi, Karz, Superbad, Godfather, Lost in Translation, Clerks and Funny Ha ha.

I like movies but it has been so long since I have seen something good. At least in the cineplex. Want to go watch “I Love you Man”.

That is all for now.

——————————————

Bombay is calling me darling. It is just calling me.

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5 Responses to Where I exercise the simple power of suggestion and other things

  1. Jay says:

    “Chopping done, time to find the big garbage bags.”

    Well, if Dexter was on facebook…

  2. relativelytruthful says:

    you have a twisted family. i am impressed.

  3. Saha says:

    Why the fuck is Bombay calling you?

  4. makingitworse says:

    why is it calling you ‘darling’?

    • kroswami says:

      @Jay-z: Dexter would not be on facebook. No way
      @RT: they is not twisted.
      @Saha & MIW: may you both be reincarnated as fire hydrants in Dogsville

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