Oh my god why are you all so fuking annoying?

Seriously.

What the fuck?

Do all of you take some sort of pissant pills? Is there some sort of new fucking disease which is spreading faster than cow flu and pig malaria???

Or is this some sort of group thing? Like all of you have meetings in secret, dank corners of the universe and plan this all out? All of you will act like fucking needy, crying little bastards at the same time and make me want to chop the tendons in your neck with a bottle opener?

WHAT THE BLIND FUCK MAN!!!!

What is it with you? Seriously? Stop it. Aaarrgh get the fuck away from me you mangy cur-licking, insect humping, spider molesting pieces of warm turd brownie cake.

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I hate Monday mornings.

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A blind fuck is what happens to you when your eyes are closed to the obvious. Like walking into a telephone pole. Or having your heart wanked out and given the food processor treatment cause you were acting like a complete dumbfuk anyways and you knew it was actually going to happen.

Blind Fuck.

We all been blind fucked before. Some of us know it, the others just act all Stevie Wonder about it.

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I have almost certainly positively, “100% export material madame” decided that I will be visiting a super-exotic and deeply mysterious country next year. Have already started looking forward to it.

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Of all the various ailments in the world, the one I hate with a purity which is almost scary, is the upset tummy.

For a large part of my life, my response to a bout of loosies is to eat more junk. “If you are not with me, you are against me”.

My stomach has obviously gotten a whole lot smarter.

Kela and dahi man. fukin kela and fukin dahi. Anything deep fried makes me queasy.

Fuck.

I feel like someone stole my mojo.

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In more pleasant news, there are few things which can match the gorgeousness of Delhi roads in the winter morning. All foggy and mysterious and quiet and this awesomely, awesomely coooooooolllllld feeling everywhere.

Wow. Really.

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The Meez is not really intelligent. On a scale of one to ten w.r.t. intelligence, the Meez would  probably score a 0.5. If he tried really hard. Despite this (and other glaring defects in genetic and superficial make up), I put up with him and allow him to believe that he is my friend.

One of the reasons why I tolerate him is that every once in a while, he will say something which is worthy of recording. And every once in that once in a while, he will say something which is worthy of recording on this blog.

So the other morning:

Meez: Dude.

Me: ya, dude.

Meez: Morning chai has to be had without brushing your teeth

Me: Wuh?

Meez: Ya dude. That taste is just not the same when the toothpaste has cleaned your mouth.

Me: Fuck dude! (I am so going to blog about this!).

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My family puts up with a decent amount of bull crap from me. Well, they dont really have much of a choice.

What really fucks up my head (at times) is why the fuck my friends do the same.

—————————

Lastly, I read this and it cheered me up. Sorta.

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This entry was posted in How would I know?!?, Neurotia and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Oh my god why are you all so fuking annoying?

  1. Jay says:

    “What really fucks up my head (at times) is why the fuck my friends do the same.”

    Birds of a feather…

  2. Jay says:

    And who will send you nice little bottles of exotic jams if I do?

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