Where the curse words take a break, and I am forced to be pleasant and well mannered

Ya fukin right.

At any point of time, I think I can either be pleasant or well-mannered. If I tried to be both at the same time, my brain would explode.

I hate it when people think they know the manner in which my brain works….or worse, they presume that they know what I am thinking.

No one knows what I am thinking.

Unless of course, I am going through Men’s Health magazine.

Then, anyone can know what I am thinking.

I wonder why Health magazines look like soft core porno collections….maybe it is something like the whole “surrogate advertising” thing….I wonder if there is some deeply frustrated writer working for them…desperate to churn out his thoughts on the Bard even while he is forced to make up the results of the “Latest Sex Survey: Ten things which you always wanted to ask a transsexual but were too afraid to ask.”

I think transsexuals are kinda cool. Not that I know any, but I like to think that they are cool. And that they like disco music. Or, more specifically, trance.

bwahahahahahaahahahahahah.

A beautiful joke can be such a work of art…especially when it needs to be built up and you need to really “create” a situation where it can be majestically pulled out of the magic hat and make the audience go “wooooooh” or “hahahahahahahaha” in this case.

Which is why I truly respect and admire stand-up comedians. Because there is a lot of work which goes into being funny. And then they make it look so simple. Like magic.

Kiddie parties when I was a young one used to have magicians once in a while. Their most favourite trick would be the one where they pulled water out of someone’s ear or something like that. The sadistic ones would then place the “magic glass” near some poor sod’s dick and then the glass would magically refill itself.

Fuckers.

I wish some kid would actually piss into the damn glass. Or punch the clown in the face. I don’t think Indian kids like clowns. Or maybe Indian clowns are just not funny. Unless they are those dwarf ones. You know, tiny people.

The good thing about knowing short people is that they are absolutely wonderful to hug. I feel a bit like a bear when I hug them. Sometimes I even let out a tiny roar in my head when I am doing the hugging thing.

Gay.

I think ballet would make a killer martial art. If you get what I am saying. Delicate dancers doing the whole “twirl on a toe” thing while kicking ass and carrying Uzi’s in the other hand.

I really liked the House of Flying Daggers…it was way better than crouching tiger. Of course Crouching Tiger had that uber yummy chinese babe in it. Man, she was naaaice. Very naice.

Those lips would melt the Stone  Age.

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8 Responses to Where the curse words take a break, and I am forced to be pleasant and well mannered

  1. eveline says:

    I think we humans go through growth spurts of evolution, but we also slide backward now and then. When we presume to know what other people are thinking we’re in a backward slide and it’s sad.
    It’s human to make snap judgments. But it’s not important and seems to be out of fashion these days.

    I prefer pirates and killer zombies to clowns. They’re “non-psychotic” in a way.

    • kroswami says:

      zombies are fine with me…..i am pretty indifferent towards pirates though…somehow they never really impressed me much.

      “also slide backward now and then…”
      dude.
      genius.
      find your genius dance. quick.

  2. Alok says:

    “No one knows what I am thinking.”

    Chuck Norris does. Also, Sherlock Holmes.

    I try to find meaning in your posts, but fail consistently. Someday I — hey look! a ball! *bounce* *bounce*

  3. Nitika says:

    Like stand-up comedy? There is one happening on 12th. Do you read khamba’s blog? He’s a regular performer along with Rajneesh. Let me fetch the details.

    • kroswami says:

      found it
      cool…may just end up giving it a shot
      thanks.

      • Nitika says:

        Yeah.. I stay in Gurgaon so catch their gigs here. But they are now regularly performing in Delhi.

        BTW… I’m a lawyer too.. Did my rounds of the Courts till last yr before deciding to chuck it for an AC office and a computer. Miss it, I do.

        • kroswami says:

          hmmm….the air conditioned office
          oh well
          I see that court was spelt with a capital “c”.
          still suffering from a lit hangover it would seem?

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