Ya fukin right.
At any point of time, I think I can either be pleasant or well-mannered. If I tried to be both at the same time, my brain would explode.
I hate it when people think they know the manner in which my brain works….or worse, they presume that they know what I am thinking.
No one knows what I am thinking.
Unless of course, I am going through Men’s Health magazine.
Then, anyone can know what I am thinking.
I wonder why Health magazines look like soft core porno collections….maybe it is something like the whole “surrogate advertising” thing….I wonder if there is some deeply frustrated writer working for them…desperate to churn out his thoughts on the Bard even while he is forced to make up the results of the “Latest Sex Survey: Ten things which you always wanted to ask a transsexual but were too afraid to ask.”
I think transsexuals are kinda cool. Not that I know any, but I like to think that they are cool. And that they like disco music. Or, more specifically, trance.
A beautiful joke can be such a work of art…especially when it needs to be built up and you need to really “create” a situation where it can be majestically pulled out of the magic hat and make the audience go “wooooooh” or “hahahahahahahaha” in this case.
Which is why I truly respect and admire stand-up comedians. Because there is a lot of work which goes into being funny. And then they make it look so simple. Like magic.
Kiddie parties when I was a young one used to have magicians once in a while. Their most favourite trick would be the one where they pulled water out of someone’s ear or something like that. The sadistic ones would then place the “magic glass” near some poor sod’s dick and then the glass would magically refill itself.
I wish some kid would actually piss into the damn glass. Or punch the clown in the face. I don’t think Indian kids like clowns. Or maybe Indian clowns are just not funny. Unless they are those dwarf ones. You know, tiny people.
The good thing about knowing short people is that they are absolutely wonderful to hug. I feel a bit like a bear when I hug them. Sometimes I even let out a tiny roar in my head when I am doing the hugging thing.
I think ballet would make a killer martial art. If you get what I am saying. Delicate dancers doing the whole “twirl on a toe” thing while kicking ass and carrying Uzi’s in the other hand.
I really liked the House of Flying Daggers…it was way better than crouching tiger. Of course Crouching Tiger had that uber yummy chinese babe in it. Man, she was naaaice. Very naice.
Those lips would melt the Stone Age.