Booyakasha and other words which only sound cool if Ali-G says it

No really.

There are so many words which you think you can pull of in a social situation but which just end up as another frikkin social disaster.

8

I think I am going to turn polished. Like james bond or something. Strict, proper pronunciation, oodles of sophistication and bucketfuls of charm. Calm, measured tones with a deep, gravelly voice and a nice smile. Not too wide (like a frikkin Colgate add) but a tad more obvious than that mona lisa chick.

7

The Boss has likened me to a distinguished gentleman currently employed as a proud member of the Indian judiciary. If you think that is a compliment in any manner, than (hah) I laugh at you (hah…I laugh again). Bald, slow and not too good to the eye either.

6

A client told me “Bao-ji, make my case a winning case” in broken Hindi. He has a shit case with all the hope of donuts in Garfield’s dream. What the fuck are you supposed to say? Give false hope? Cause if you don’t then he is going to find another liar who will tell him what he wants to hear.

How do I tell you what it feels like to see someone’s life reduced to a few scraps of paper. Barely legible and creased up to the point where you can barely read the words.

Fuck.

5

My dear friend hurt me with some words but I suppose one needs to hear the truth once in a while. Or at least what some perceive the truth to be.

I love you dude. And I always will. Take from this what you want.

Unless of course you call when the cat is on the sofa……

4

I wonder what would happen if every single person in the world cried at the same time. Would there really be floods? I like how in cartoons, the tears sprout out like water from a fountain.

3

Drunk dial from a very chaddi friend of mine made me smile before I went to sleep last night. My friends can be such complete nutters when suitably sloshed.

2

In case  you are wondering why the countdown, then let me clarify that this is purely an ego-building act. Yes, I want you to weep the tears and beat your chests (ooo sick image again, bad pervy mind bad!) and wail and pen long sonnets about how great I am.

1

Lastly, thank you for reading. Actually thank you for commenting coz, frankly, I would much prefer commentators rather than bumps in the blogstats.

Thank you Mr. Mumblings. You have no idea how cool it is to actually imagine a Mr. Mumbling. Mumbling about this and that….etc etc

Thank you Quakes. Actually, I take that back. Fuck you

Thank you Mr. Quirk: You are fucked up. You really are.

Mr. Saha, you owe me a beer. Or two. Just like that. Coz you can frikkin afford it you pound-making, fancy living bastard.

S-r-o-bastard: Die. Quick.

Ms. AGG: I think you should get married to chuck and then see what kind of shit your kids write

Ms Cutlet: Your thaata can say thooo

Ms. Divya: The pun is strong in you.

Ms. Eveline: Like I mentioned a while back, may the music continue to run through the veins and may the finger never be too far from the clicker.

Ms. Mentalie: Kuchu pushu salka yoda (something tells me you will understand)

Ms. Muska: wah wah. May everyone have the (mis?)fortune of having such a dedicated reader/corrector and general “ooo ooo pay attention to my 2 cents otherwise I will spit in ur eye” type person. What else can I say. Thenks

Ms. Priyanka: nothing can be said to greatness.

Ms Sherry: Hopefully a masterpiece shall have your autograph on it some day.

Also many many “wtf dude’s” to everyone else who cared to leave a comment or waste their precious time over these meaningless words.

Zero.