Children please read this

I would have inserted a screen shot but those can be rather revealing.
me:  slut fucker
get me ubunut
you whore
u slut
u dick faced pansy
was targetting someone else
how are you?

Oh and I was asking for ubuntu in the 2nd line. Ubunut just sounds like some sort of gay porno flick. With a science fiction type story. Not that I would want a gay porno flick with a sci-fi angle. Or any angle.

There are days and then there are days.

Oh and last night, my cycle rickshaw-walla had road rage. Can you frikkin believe it?? A cycle rickshaw wallah with road rage. So there I sat, while the man tried to out-race everything in sight. And failing miserably. And then letting loose some nice abuses. Most of them are from bangladesh (or “haldia” as they like to say) so the abuses were vaguely familiar. All nostalgic it made me.

There is nothing more surreal than a cycle wallah with road rage. Seriously.

Made me think of an entire racing series for rickshaw wallahs.

You could call it “Formula R’shaw” or something like that. These thin, lanky chaps pedalling for all it’s worth. Wearing a helmet with a gamcha on top. Trinkling their bells to save their lives. Taking the perfect line through the chicanes and whatnot.

It would be even cooler if you had a terrified passenger in the back seat. Or maybe a navigator. “Hard Right, 50 meters ahead”

The rich teams with carbon fibre brakes which would glow red on braking. A pit stop every now and then. Change the tires. Wipe the gamcha clean. A pit lane speed limit. Oh and the pit crew. Furiously working to make sure everything is alright. Can you imagine the chap who holds the stop/go sign in the pit crew?

And the wheel-to-wheel racing at the very last. The bubbling rivalries and the rickshaws all painted in the team liveries. The number could probably go on the roof so it looks all sexy from the helicopter camera.

And then you could place other cameras on or near the cycle horn. So that you get a bird’s eye view and all that shit.

And the screaming commentators and the mad fans and every little boy wanting to be that winner right there.

I would pay for that. Totally.

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4 Responses to Children please read this

  1. Jay says:

    Twenty five years of existence in India and you’ve never seen a cycle rickshaw guy with road rage! I’m tempted to say, “Sheltered, spoilt, rich kid!” and I wouldn’t be wrong!

    But it’s good fun…even if it’s a bit scary at times, especially when the sides hit buses and trucks and what-nots.

  2. anonymusketeer says:

    yesterday i saw a former boss in a beemer, graciously pull back to let a beat up alto overtake him.

    • kroswami says:

      @jay-z: you have no idea how happy someone was on reading that comment. “sheltered”???? coming from you? seriously? wtF

      @muska: that is one thing you will never see in dalhi. Pinky swear.

  3. Sroyon says:

    Think of it as Ben Hur on three wheels.

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