You know you….and other stories

You know you are no longer a college student when you take the cab all the way to the side gate and not make it stop on the main road on the other side so that you can save a few bucks.

You know you are no longer a college student when you take a cab.

You know you have no sense of irony when your latest tweet and fb status message read “Feeling terribly anti-social today” and you were not even trying to be funny.

You know you have reached the pits of self-delusion when you think about Nandita Das and say to yourself “Would have totally hit on her, if only she wasn’t married”.

You know you need to seriously work on at least looking threatening when you scream at the bai and all she does is give a stupid smile and totally ignore you.

For some reason I had this image of this giant meeting of feminist dogs underneath a bridge somewhere. All of ’em discussing ways and means to get rid of the negative connotation attached to the word “bitch”.

For the longest time, my chaddi buddy would refer to her boobs as “the bouncies”. Launch into the problems of having bouncies w.r.t. Indian males and yada yada yada. It was terribly entertaining.

Sometimes while writing, I think that the Word is like this over-sugared pomeranian leading me through the alleys of some old, disused town in the middle of Rajasthan. So you have these narrow streets with deserted houses on both sides and the mad yapping of the pommy to lead you along. In the dark, maybe.

I would totally kiss Tabu. Just to see what her lips feel like. She does this totally evil thing with her lips. It is like a pout but not that obvious if you know what I mean. You probably do not.

So dude, I was like thinking the other morning right? And I was like lying in my pjs and then I looked down and dude there was like a total morning boner there dude! And I was like, damn Beavis and Butthead were right and there is like a totally real morning erection fairy! So dude remember how you used to tell me that the television is like for num-nuts? Well THERE you go man, I totally learnt something that day. Dude…..dude?

And I wish that I had not thrown away those rusty nails.

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2 Responses to You know you….and other stories

  1. Maheep says:

    what is it with 3 dudes in a sentence.. if I have lost my SOH? or what?

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