Dear People of Bombay,
Wooosh! There goes your paycheque. Run. Go fetch.
Wuh? You have time to read this? Surely not. Aren’t you too busy catching the ever-punctual “local”? Or shouldn’t you be stuck in some colossal jam on one of the THREE (?) main roads of the city?
You think you are real “professional” no? It is all about efficiency and getting the job done. People do not have the time to stop and chat. Isn’t that just great?
Ever wonder what you have become? Or is that a passing thought, a fleeting moment of self-awareness which hits you some time before the sweet smell of the sea hits your noses but not after you are over-powered by the stench of another over-flowing sewer?
Oh but you have that (in?)famous Mumbai spirit no? The ones which no terrorist attack, no amount of corruption and no riots can steal away from you. “Look how they live their lives”, we are told, “bombs yesterday but today they go to WORK!”. What dedication! What determination!
They can have our lives but they will never have our cubicles!
Oh and what is with soooo many wannabees! Can spot them a mile away. With the caps at an angle, three fourths fashionably loose and bling oh-so conspicious. And that irritating accent which is no longer limited to the “townsies”. “Aye what yaaa?” Good lord woman! Surely the word “ya” can only be stretched so far!
Oh and what the hell is with the whole “town” thing anyway. “Aye there is nothing happening in TOWN ya, come here!”. What the bloody hell? Town? Really? No other words come to mind?
So you say Bombay is the commercial capital. Ooooooooo look ma, money! Gigantic buildings and ever shrinking greenery. Let’s trade the old family house for a floor in a 60-storey building. Let us buy four cars for chintu and pintu. Each. And then let’s crib about the parking situation! Throw in a few abuses about the increasing traffic, I tell you.
Oh and you are all cosmopolitan aren’t you? People from all over the country. living as one. Surely there are no divides there are they? No. Nothing to do with your religion, your caste or community. Nope. This is the place where dreams come true. Or even nightmares.
Woosh. There it goes again. Run. Fetch.
I still luv ya though. ’tis true.