Perhaps it is cause I am once again brushing up my “CV selling” skills, but I cant help but wonder whether my traditional beliefs need to change with the times.
You think reincarnation is based on CV? Like you have all these souls and shit waiting around on giant sofas, clutching their CVs and anxiously waiting to be called. Each one silently evaluating the ones around them.
You think Souls get interviewed by some obnoxious prat with glasses on the edge of his nose? “So you were a horse last year. Yes, so what did you learn from that experience?” or “Tell us Mr. ex-monkey, now that the world has seen you scratch your ass and smell your hand, what are your future goals?” or “Yes, so where do you see yourself five incarnations down the line?”
For me, a zoozoo is what a soul should look like. Ideally.
You think their are these Classifieds for the Departed? Advertisements for becoming a rabbit, a snail or a human being? I wonder whether they can choose what body they can inhabit the next time around. I can so clearly see a group of them bitching over how it sucks to be a human, or did you know that Kuttao bribed his way into becoming a rabbit. That horny bastard!
I wonder if there is a hierarchy on which lives are the best. Like there are these SWOT analysis sessions, all the Souls sitting in a classroom, pencils in hand and eagerly noting down whatever is said. Or maybe they have to make a choice on their own, kinda like we do for college. All the gay, loser ones take arts for example.
Doubt if souls escape stereotypification.
You think Souls got offended when someone says “Sold his soul to the devil”? Or do they sit down over beer and salted nuts, discussing how much Satan paid for this one. Whether inflation is killing the market and whether the world recession has resulted in a long overdue correction.
I wonder what Souls do for timepass. Buggers must be having parties all over the place. Never getting stuck in traffic, just sorta floating wherever they want.
Wish there was a 1800 number where you could complain about the Soul you got. Probably be a giant BPO manned by the most retarded people on the planet. “Zo Madam err Sir, vat going wrong with you?”. Gives an entire new meaning to an SoS call.
You think we would ever complain about our souls. Bloody humiliating if you ask me. “Hah jee my soul very bad. Makes it ok to flick lollipops and butter chicken from kids.”
Nope, don’t think I would make that call.